Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Is Bruce Lee a Malaya Lee?
What is Bruce Lee's favorite weapon?
Kodaa Lee
According to Bruce Lee, which is the Venomous snake?
Ana Lee
Place where Bruce Lee stays when he is in Kerala
Adima Lee
Bruce Lee's Favorite Malayalam Channel
Kaira Lee
Bruce Lee favorite vegitable?
Thakkaa Lee
What sound does Bruce Lee make when some one hits him?
Nilavi Lee
What is Bruce Lee's pet
Chunde Lee
What kind of water does Bruce Lee prefer with his lunch?
Karingaa Lee
What is Bruce Lee's Girl Friend's name?
Anaarka Lee
What is Bruce Lee's nick name?
Neeraa Lee
While in kerala he likes to be known
Malaya Lee
What is Bruce Lee's favorite weapon?
Kodaa Lee
According to Bruce Lee, which is the Venomous snake?
Ana Lee
Place where Bruce Lee stays when he is in Kerala
Adima Lee
Bruce Lee's Favorite Malayalam Channel
Kaira Lee
Bruce Lee favorite vegitable?
Thakkaa Lee
What sound does Bruce Lee make when some one hits him?
Nilavi Lee
What is Bruce Lee's pet
Chunde Lee
What kind of water does Bruce Lee prefer with his lunch?
Karingaa Lee
What is Bruce Lee's Girl Friend's name?
Anaarka Lee
What is Bruce Lee's nick name?
Neeraa Lee
While in kerala he likes to be known
Malaya Lee
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the
car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything
went quiet in the cab, then the driver said: "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of
me! "The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver
replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying
dead bodies for the last 25 years."
car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything
went quiet in the cab, then the driver said: "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of
me! "The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver
replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying
dead bodies for the last 25 years."
M-A-H-A-B-H-A-R-A-T
Krishna:
Arjun , Try to respect the e-mails of your elders .
Arjun:
But Vasudev, how dare I send junk mails to my honourable elders who are
logged on to honourable domains ?
Krishna
Paarth, at this moment they neither are your friend nor your foes. They
are mere mail-users. So follow your Net-dharma. Logon and send dozens of
junk mails. This is your Karma and this alone is your Dharma.
Arjun
Murari ! After seeing all this , I feel like resigning from Software
Industry itself .
Krishna
Bandhu, it seems you are caught in a vicious circle of Maaya. In this
material world you have none and you are commited to none. Junk mails
have existed before you came to this world and shall remain long after
you are gone. Rise above this Maaya and perform your duty. Just keep
sending junk mails.
Arjun
But Devaki Nandan...........!
Krishna
Victory or failure is not in your hands. So stop pondering about
results.
Don't waste your knowledge on the junk shastra bestowed by your Guru
Dronacharya.
Arjun
Hey Keshav, how is junk mail related to the ' system ' ?
Krishna
Junk mail is just junk mail. It has no connection with Hardware.
However, it
is another matter that it overloads the system... fills up the hard
disk....but you are not supposed to worry about it. Listen Kunti putra,
the way Aatma leaves one physical body and moves onto another,likewise
these junk mails move from system to system.
Arjun
How can one define junk mail ?
Krishna
Neither fire can burn it.., nor air can dry it... neither it can be
conqured nor it can be defeated. He who sends junk mails cannot be
looked down upon even by Mahadev... Junk mails are immortal.
Arjun
Hey Narayan ! Now all my doubts on junk mail are crystal clear. Y ou have
opened my eyes Yashoda Nandan, or else I would have lost myself in Maaya
and read all the junk mails myself.
....... MAHAAABHAAAAARAT ............
Years have passed since then, generations have come and gone, seasons
have cycled, technology advanced, but junk mails remain. So, go on,
contribute something to the history by hitting that forward button yet
again to send this junk mail to all !!!!!
Krishna:
Arjun , Try to respect the e-mails of your elders .
Arjun:
But Vasudev, how dare I send junk mails to my honourable elders who are
logged on to honourable domains ?
Krishna
Paarth, at this moment they neither are your friend nor your foes. They
are mere mail-users. So follow your Net-dharma. Logon and send dozens of
junk mails. This is your Karma and this alone is your Dharma.
Arjun
Murari ! After seeing all this , I feel like resigning from Software
Industry itself .
Krishna
Bandhu, it seems you are caught in a vicious circle of Maaya. In this
material world you have none and you are commited to none. Junk mails
have existed before you came to this world and shall remain long after
you are gone. Rise above this Maaya and perform your duty. Just keep
sending junk mails.
Arjun
But Devaki Nandan...........!
Krishna
Victory or failure is not in your hands. So stop pondering about
results.
Don't waste your knowledge on the junk shastra bestowed by your Guru
Dronacharya.
Arjun
Hey Keshav, how is junk mail related to the ' system ' ?
Krishna
Junk mail is just junk mail. It has no connection with Hardware.
However, it
is another matter that it overloads the system... fills up the hard
disk....but you are not supposed to worry about it. Listen Kunti putra,
the way Aatma leaves one physical body and moves onto another,likewise
these junk mails move from system to system.
Arjun
How can one define junk mail ?
Krishna
Neither fire can burn it.., nor air can dry it... neither it can be
conqured nor it can be defeated. He who sends junk mails cannot be
looked down upon even by Mahadev... Junk mails are immortal.
Arjun
Hey Narayan ! Now all my doubts on junk mail are crystal clear. Y ou have
opened my eyes Yashoda Nandan, or else I would have lost myself in Maaya
and read all the junk mails myself.
....... MAHAAABHAAAAARAT ............
Years have passed since then, generations have come and gone, seasons
have cycled, technology advanced, but junk mails remain. So, go on,
contribute something to the history by hitting that forward button yet
again to send this junk mail to all !!!!!
Some Carzy questions
Why did Mary own a little lamb?
Why can’t a baby cry while it’s inside its mother?
Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
Why is snow white and ice clear? Aren't they just different forms of water?
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Can you cry under water?
Why do you DELETE something on the computer, but ERASE something on paper?
Can a metal plate in your head get rusted?
What do vegetarians feed their dogs?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
If CD’s were spun in the opposite direction, would it say everything backwards?
Can you blow a balloon up under water?
Why are there black lines on a basketball?
Does it really count in court when an atheist is sworn in under oath using a Bible?
If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny"; what’s the difference?
If our planet is inhabited with creatures made by God...is it possible that there's another planet inhabited with creatures made by the Devil?
What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called?
Do fish ever get thirsty?
If I think, and therefore I am, am I just a thought?
What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?
How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour at the same time?
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
Is atheism is a non-prophet organization?
If anything's possible, then is it possible that nothing's possible?
Do fish sleep?
Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster then the speed of light?
Why do old men have hair in their ears?
Can a guy named Nick have a 'nick'name?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Does a postman deliver his own mail?
Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?
Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?
Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it?
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down?
Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.
If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?
If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
What's the opposite of opposite?
Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?
Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
What would you use to dilute water?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train stops, why do I have a work station on my desk?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Why did Mary own a little lamb?
Why can’t a baby cry while it’s inside its mother?
Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
Why is snow white and ice clear? Aren't they just different forms of water?
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Can you cry under water?
Why do you DELETE something on the computer, but ERASE something on paper?
Can a metal plate in your head get rusted?
What do vegetarians feed their dogs?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
If CD’s were spun in the opposite direction, would it say everything backwards?
Can you blow a balloon up under water?
Why are there black lines on a basketball?
Does it really count in court when an atheist is sworn in under oath using a Bible?
If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny"; what’s the difference?
If our planet is inhabited with creatures made by God...is it possible that there's another planet inhabited with creatures made by the Devil?
What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called?
Do fish ever get thirsty?
If I think, and therefore I am, am I just a thought?
What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?
How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour at the same time?
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
Is atheism is a non-prophet organization?
If anything's possible, then is it possible that nothing's possible?
Do fish sleep?
Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster then the speed of light?
Why do old men have hair in their ears?
Can a guy named Nick have a 'nick'name?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Does a postman deliver his own mail?
Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?
Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?
Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it?
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down?
Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.
If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?
If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
What's the opposite of opposite?
Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?
Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
What would you use to dilute water?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train stops, why do I have a work station on my desk?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Thursday, October 14, 2004
The Letter to Dad and the Dad's Reply:
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on.
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on.
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
Why me and you failed in Civil Service Exams
QUESTION & ANSWERS
Real life IAS i.e. UPSC Exam 1998 Interview Question
and their Answer given by Candidates, oh sorry, IAS
Officer now.
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor
without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC
Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how
long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank
Opted for IFS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an
elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 9
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it
will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS
Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )
QUESTION & ANSWERS
Real life IAS i.e. UPSC Exam 1998 Interview Question
and their Answer given by Candidates, oh sorry, IAS
Officer now.
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor
without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC
Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how
long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank
Opted for IFS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an
elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 9
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it
will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS
Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )
Two cows were lying in a field. One of them says to the other, "So, what do you think about this mad cow disease?" The other says, "What do I care. I'm a helicopter."
Animal Behaviour
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me — they must be Gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me — I must be a God!
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me — they must be Gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me — I must be a God!
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Kid's Jokes
Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
A: Shocked!
Q: How do trees get on the Internet?
A: They log in.
Q: How do you cut the sea in half?
A: With a sea saw!
Q: What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?
A: Nothing -- they just waved!
Q: What do computers like to eat?
A: Chips!
Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?
A: Don't look, I'm changing!
Q: Who uninvented the airplane?
A: The Wrong brothers!
Q: Why does the ocean roar?
A: You would too if you had crabs on your bottom!
Q: When is the moon heaviest?
A: When it's full!
Q:What kind of bus crossed the ocean?
A: Christopher ColumBUS!
Q: How does the ocean pay its water bill?
A: With sand dollars!
Q: What do penguins eat for lunch?
A: Ice-burgers!
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bull-dozer!
Q: Where do penguins go swimming?
A: At the South Pool!
Q: Where do penguins keep their money?
A: In a snow bank!
Q: Which animal is always laughing?
A: A happy-potamus!
Q: How do bees get to school?
A: On the school buzz!
Q: How do you get straight A's?
A: By using a ruler!
Q: What did one math book say to the other?
A: I have a lot of problems!
Q: What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
A: You're looking sharp!
Q: What did the pencil say to the paper?
A: I dot my eye on you!
Q: What do jokes and pencils have in common?
A: They're no good without a point!
Q: What happened to the plant in math class?
A: It grew square roots.
Q: What is a cow's favorite school activity?
A: Moo-sic!
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject?
A: Hiss-tory!
Q: What is the fruitiest lesson?
A: History, because it's full of dates!
Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: Smiles, because it has a mile between the 2 s's!
Q: What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A: A blackboard!
Q: What language does a billboard speak?
A: Sign language!
Q: What word is always spelled incorrectly?
A: Incorrectly!
Q: What's the first thing an ape learns in school?
A: The ape b c's!
Q: What's an eight letter word that has only one letter in it?
A: An envelope!
Q: Which triangles are coldest?
A: ICE-soceles triangles!
Q: Why did John walk backwards to school?
A: It was back to school day!
Q: Why did the boy eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Q: Why did the computer squeak?
A: Because somebody stepped on the mouse!
Q: Why did the math class not use desks?
A: Because they had times tables!
Q: Why don't you do math in the jungle?
A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate!
Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9!
Q: Why was the lightbulb failing tests?
A: Because he wasn't too bright!
Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
A: Shocked!
Q: How do trees get on the Internet?
A: They log in.
Q: How do you cut the sea in half?
A: With a sea saw!
Q: What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?
A: Nothing -- they just waved!
Q: What do computers like to eat?
A: Chips!
Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?
A: Don't look, I'm changing!
Q: Who uninvented the airplane?
A: The Wrong brothers!
Q: Why does the ocean roar?
A: You would too if you had crabs on your bottom!
Q: When is the moon heaviest?
A: When it's full!
Q:What kind of bus crossed the ocean?
A: Christopher ColumBUS!
Q: How does the ocean pay its water bill?
A: With sand dollars!
Q: What do penguins eat for lunch?
A: Ice-burgers!
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bull-dozer!
Q: Where do penguins go swimming?
A: At the South Pool!
Q: Where do penguins keep their money?
A: In a snow bank!
Q: Which animal is always laughing?
A: A happy-potamus!
Q: How do bees get to school?
A: On the school buzz!
Q: How do you get straight A's?
A: By using a ruler!
Q: What did one math book say to the other?
A: I have a lot of problems!
Q: What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
A: You're looking sharp!
Q: What did the pencil say to the paper?
A: I dot my eye on you!
Q: What do jokes and pencils have in common?
A: They're no good without a point!
Q: What happened to the plant in math class?
A: It grew square roots.
Q: What is a cow's favorite school activity?
A: Moo-sic!
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject?
A: Hiss-tory!
Q: What is the fruitiest lesson?
A: History, because it's full of dates!
Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: Smiles, because it has a mile between the 2 s's!
Q: What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A: A blackboard!
Q: What language does a billboard speak?
A: Sign language!
Q: What word is always spelled incorrectly?
A: Incorrectly!
Q: What's the first thing an ape learns in school?
A: The ape b c's!
Q: What's an eight letter word that has only one letter in it?
A: An envelope!
Q: Which triangles are coldest?
A: ICE-soceles triangles!
Q: Why did John walk backwards to school?
A: It was back to school day!
Q: Why did the boy eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Q: Why did the computer squeak?
A: Because somebody stepped on the mouse!
Q: Why did the math class not use desks?
A: Because they had times tables!
Q: Why don't you do math in the jungle?
A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate!
Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9!
Q: Why was the lightbulb failing tests?
A: Because he wasn't too bright!
Thanks...to all......
I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003 & 2004.
Because of your kindness:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to
walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try
to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid
number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and
Tokyo.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat
feces and urine.
* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she
will take me to a hotel, drug me then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a
bathtub full of ice.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to
die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...)
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft
and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program
would arrive soon.
* My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to
Disneyland.
* Still open to help some from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his
uncle property of some hundred millions $.
* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh Vandana ,Tirupathi Balaji
pics etc.. now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else)
IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 1246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will ..... on your head today at 5:30pm.
I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003 & 2004.
Because of your kindness:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to
walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try
to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid
number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and
Tokyo.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat
feces and urine.
* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she
will take me to a hotel, drug me then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a
bathtub full of ice.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to
die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...)
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft
and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program
would arrive soon.
* My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to
Disneyland.
* Still open to help some from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his
uncle property of some hundred millions $.
* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh Vandana ,Tirupathi Balaji
pics etc.. now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else)
IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 1246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will ..... on your head today at 5:30pm.
a divorce case
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked,
"What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the
property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean, what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's
parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked,
"What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the
property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean, what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's
parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Funny Linux responses
List of some "funny" responses from Unix/Linux when you mis-enter "appropriate"
$ cat "food in cans"
cat: can't open food in cans
$ nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.
$ rm God
rm: God nonexistent
$ ar t God
ar: God does not exist
$ ar r God
ar: creating God
$ make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
$ sleep with me
bad character
$ got a light?
No match.
$ man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.
$ !:say, what is saccharine?
Bad substitute.
$ drink bottle: cannot open
opener: not found
List of some "funny" responses from Unix/Linux when you mis-enter "appropriate"
$ cat "food in cans"
cat: can't open food in cans
$ nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.
$ rm God
rm: God nonexistent
$ ar t God
ar: God does not exist
$ ar r God
ar: creating God
$ make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
$ sleep with me
bad character
$ got a light?
No match.
$ man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.
$ !:say, what is saccharine?
Bad substitute.
$ drink bottle: cannot open
opener: not found
