Monday, October 31, 2005
Mischievous Brothers
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are
always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any
mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The
boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in
disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The
preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy
to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a
booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
"Do you know where God is, son?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made
no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is
God?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice
even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,
"Where is God?!"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into
his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in
BIG trouble this time.
("I just LOVE reading next line again and again")
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
GOD is missing, and they think we did it!
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are
always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any
mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The
boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in
disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The
preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy
to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a
booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
"Do you know where God is, son?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made
no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is
God?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice
even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,
"Where is God?!"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into
his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in
BIG trouble this time.
("I just LOVE reading next line again and again")
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
GOD is missing, and they think we did it!
Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings:
1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sitto decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......
1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sitto decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......
A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is asevere offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were
preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:
"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Pleasetie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said
smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could onlytake 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away
whimpering loudly.
The Sardar was the last one up, but befo! re he could say anything, the
Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of theworld and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you mayhave two wishes!"
"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20,but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. "And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked.
Sardar smiled and said,
"Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!
preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:
"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Pleasetie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said
smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could onlytake 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away
whimpering loudly.
The Sardar was the last one up, but befo! re he could say anything, the
Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of theworld and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you mayhave two wishes!"
"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20,but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. "And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked.
Sardar smiled and said,
"Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!
