Saturday, September 08, 2007
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.
>>
>> Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
>> Banta Singh : Ok
>> Interviewer : Made in India
>> Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
>> Interviewer : Keep it Up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>> Banta Singh : Put it Down
>> Interviewer : Maxi Mum
>> Banta Singh : Mini Dad
>> Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
>> Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't take my seat
>> Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat
>> Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my Seat
>> Interviewer : I say you get out!
>> Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
>> Interviewer : I reject you!
>> Banta Singh : You Appoint me
>> Interviewer: ........!!!!!!!
>>
>>
>> Santa: What is another difference between a mosquito and a fly?
>> Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannot mosquito.
>>
>> Banta: When did George Washington die?
>> Santa: two days before his funeral.
>>
>> Banta: Tell me five FEROCIOUS animals you can think of........
>> Santa: 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.
>>
>> Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
>> Banta Singh : Ok
>> Interviewer : Made in India
>> Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
>> Interviewer : Keep it Up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>> Banta Singh : Put it Down
>> Interviewer : Maxi Mum
>> Banta Singh : Mini Dad
>> Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
>> Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't take my seat
>> Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat
>> Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my Seat
>> Interviewer : I say you get out!
>> Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
>> Interviewer : I reject you!
>> Banta Singh : You Appoint me
>> Interviewer: ........!!!!!!!
>>
>>
>> Santa: What is another difference between a mosquito and a fly?
>> Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannot mosquito.
>>
>> Banta: When did George Washington die?
>> Santa: two days before his funeral.
>>
>> Banta: Tell me five FEROCIOUS animals you can think of........
>> Santa: 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.
One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met CHITRAGUPT.
"Welcome to Swarg," said CHITRAGUPT. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a HR Manager make it this far & we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Nark and a day in Swarg and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Swarg", said the woman "Sorry, we have rules..."
And with that CHITRAGUPT put the woman in an elevator and it went down-down-down to Nark.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the YAMRAJ who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.
Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Gate and found CHITRAGUPT waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in Swarg," he said.
So she spent the next 24hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and CHITRAGUPT came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in Nark and you've spent a day in Swarg. Now you must choose your eternity,"
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Swarg has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Nark."
So CHITRAGUPT escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Nark. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
The YAMRAJ came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."
The YAMRAJ looked at her smiled and told...
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee. ."
"Welcome to Swarg," said CHITRAGUPT. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a HR Manager make it this far & we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Nark and a day in Swarg and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Swarg", said the woman "Sorry, we have rules..."
And with that CHITRAGUPT put the woman in an elevator and it went down-down-down to Nark.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the YAMRAJ who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.
Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Gate and found CHITRAGUPT waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in Swarg," he said.
So she spent the next 24hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and CHITRAGUPT came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in Nark and you've spent a day in Swarg. Now you must choose your eternity,"
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Swarg has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Nark."
So CHITRAGUPT escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Nark. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
The YAMRAJ came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."
The YAMRAJ looked at her smiled and told...
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee. ."
Monday, October 31, 2005
Mischievous Brothers
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are
always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any
mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The
boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in
disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The
preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy
to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a
booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
"Do you know where God is, son?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made
no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is
God?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice
even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,
"Where is God?!"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into
his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in
BIG trouble this time.
("I just LOVE reading next line again and again")
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
GOD is missing, and they think we did it!
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are
always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any
mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The
boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in
disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The
preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy
to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a
booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
"Do you know where God is, son?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made
no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is
God?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice
even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,
"Where is God?!"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into
his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in
BIG trouble this time.
("I just LOVE reading next line again and again")
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
GOD is missing, and they think we did it!
Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings:
1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sitto decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......
1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sitto decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......
A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is asevere offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were
preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:
"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Pleasetie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said
smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could onlytake 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away
whimpering loudly.
The Sardar was the last one up, but befo! re he could say anything, the
Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of theworld and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you mayhave two wishes!"
"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20,but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. "And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked.
Sardar smiled and said,
"Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!
preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:
"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Pleasetie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said
smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could onlytake 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away
whimpering loudly.
The Sardar was the last one up, but befo! re he could say anything, the
Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of theworld and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you mayhave two wishes!"
"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20,but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. "And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked.
Sardar smiled and said,
"Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!
Sunday, May 29, 2005
It's really tiring during (all) meeting sessions. This tip helps a lot.
Practical tip...
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. 5"x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns, five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
* Synergy
* strategic fit
* core competencies
* best practice
* bottom line
* revisit
* take that off-line
* 24/7
* out of the loop
* benchmark
* value-added
* pro-active
* win-win
* think outside the box
* fast track
* result-driven
* empower (or empowerment)
* knowledge base
* at the end of the day
* touch base
* mind-set
* client focus(ed)
* paradigm
* game plan
* leverage ......and last but not least
* MOVING FORWARD......
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those
words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout, "BULLSHIT!"
Testimonials from satisfied "BullShit Bingo" players:
"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." - DavidD., Rockhampton
"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Sydney
"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours." - Kathleen L., Canberry
Practical tip...
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. 5"x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns, five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
* Synergy
* strategic fit
* core competencies
* best practice
* bottom line
* revisit
* take that off-line
* 24/7
* out of the loop
* benchmark
* value-added
* pro-active
* win-win
* think outside the box
* fast track
* result-driven
* empower (or empowerment)
* knowledge base
* at the end of the day
* touch base
* mind-set
* client focus(ed)
* paradigm
* game plan
* leverage ......and last but not least
* MOVING FORWARD......
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those
words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout, "BULLSHIT!"
Testimonials from satisfied "BullShit Bingo" players:
"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." - DavidD., Rockhampton
"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Sydney
"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours." - Kathleen L., Canberry
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Is Bruce Lee a Malaya Lee?
What is Bruce Lee's favorite weapon?
Kodaa Lee
According to Bruce Lee, which is the Venomous snake?
Ana Lee
Place where Bruce Lee stays when he is in Kerala
Adima Lee
Bruce Lee's Favorite Malayalam Channel
Kaira Lee
Bruce Lee favorite vegitable?
Thakkaa Lee
What sound does Bruce Lee make when some one hits him?
Nilavi Lee
What is Bruce Lee's pet
Chunde Lee
What kind of water does Bruce Lee prefer with his lunch?
Karingaa Lee
What is Bruce Lee's Girl Friend's name?
Anaarka Lee
What is Bruce Lee's nick name?
Neeraa Lee
While in kerala he likes to be known
Malaya Lee
What is Bruce Lee's favorite weapon?
Kodaa Lee
According to Bruce Lee, which is the Venomous snake?
Ana Lee
Place where Bruce Lee stays when he is in Kerala
Adima Lee
Bruce Lee's Favorite Malayalam Channel
Kaira Lee
Bruce Lee favorite vegitable?
Thakkaa Lee
What sound does Bruce Lee make when some one hits him?
Nilavi Lee
What is Bruce Lee's pet
Chunde Lee
What kind of water does Bruce Lee prefer with his lunch?
Karingaa Lee
What is Bruce Lee's Girl Friend's name?
Anaarka Lee
What is Bruce Lee's nick name?
Neeraa Lee
While in kerala he likes to be known
Malaya Lee
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the
car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything
went quiet in the cab, then the driver said: "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of
me! "The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver
replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying
dead bodies for the last 25 years."
car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything
went quiet in the cab, then the driver said: "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of
me! "The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver
replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying
dead bodies for the last 25 years."
M-A-H-A-B-H-A-R-A-T
Krishna:
Arjun , Try to respect the e-mails of your elders .
Arjun:
But Vasudev, how dare I send junk mails to my honourable elders who are
logged on to honourable domains ?
Krishna
Paarth, at this moment they neither are your friend nor your foes. They
are mere mail-users. So follow your Net-dharma. Logon and send dozens of
junk mails. This is your Karma and this alone is your Dharma.
Arjun
Murari ! After seeing all this , I feel like resigning from Software
Industry itself .
Krishna
Bandhu, it seems you are caught in a vicious circle of Maaya. In this
material world you have none and you are commited to none. Junk mails
have existed before you came to this world and shall remain long after
you are gone. Rise above this Maaya and perform your duty. Just keep
sending junk mails.
Arjun
But Devaki Nandan...........!
Krishna
Victory or failure is not in your hands. So stop pondering about
results.
Don't waste your knowledge on the junk shastra bestowed by your Guru
Dronacharya.
Arjun
Hey Keshav, how is junk mail related to the ' system ' ?
Krishna
Junk mail is just junk mail. It has no connection with Hardware.
However, it
is another matter that it overloads the system... fills up the hard
disk....but you are not supposed to worry about it. Listen Kunti putra,
the way Aatma leaves one physical body and moves onto another,likewise
these junk mails move from system to system.
Arjun
How can one define junk mail ?
Krishna
Neither fire can burn it.., nor air can dry it... neither it can be
conqured nor it can be defeated. He who sends junk mails cannot be
looked down upon even by Mahadev... Junk mails are immortal.
Arjun
Hey Narayan ! Now all my doubts on junk mail are crystal clear. Y ou have
opened my eyes Yashoda Nandan, or else I would have lost myself in Maaya
and read all the junk mails myself.
....... MAHAAABHAAAAARAT ............
Years have passed since then, generations have come and gone, seasons
have cycled, technology advanced, but junk mails remain. So, go on,
contribute something to the history by hitting that forward button yet
again to send this junk mail to all !!!!!
Krishna:
Arjun , Try to respect the e-mails of your elders .
Arjun:
But Vasudev, how dare I send junk mails to my honourable elders who are
logged on to honourable domains ?
Krishna
Paarth, at this moment they neither are your friend nor your foes. They
are mere mail-users. So follow your Net-dharma. Logon and send dozens of
junk mails. This is your Karma and this alone is your Dharma.
Arjun
Murari ! After seeing all this , I feel like resigning from Software
Industry itself .
Krishna
Bandhu, it seems you are caught in a vicious circle of Maaya. In this
material world you have none and you are commited to none. Junk mails
have existed before you came to this world and shall remain long after
you are gone. Rise above this Maaya and perform your duty. Just keep
sending junk mails.
Arjun
But Devaki Nandan...........!
Krishna
Victory or failure is not in your hands. So stop pondering about
results.
Don't waste your knowledge on the junk shastra bestowed by your Guru
Dronacharya.
Arjun
Hey Keshav, how is junk mail related to the ' system ' ?
Krishna
Junk mail is just junk mail. It has no connection with Hardware.
However, it
is another matter that it overloads the system... fills up the hard
disk....but you are not supposed to worry about it. Listen Kunti putra,
the way Aatma leaves one physical body and moves onto another,likewise
these junk mails move from system to system.
Arjun
How can one define junk mail ?
Krishna
Neither fire can burn it.., nor air can dry it... neither it can be
conqured nor it can be defeated. He who sends junk mails cannot be
looked down upon even by Mahadev... Junk mails are immortal.
Arjun
Hey Narayan ! Now all my doubts on junk mail are crystal clear. Y ou have
opened my eyes Yashoda Nandan, or else I would have lost myself in Maaya
and read all the junk mails myself.
....... MAHAAABHAAAAARAT ............
Years have passed since then, generations have come and gone, seasons
have cycled, technology advanced, but junk mails remain. So, go on,
contribute something to the history by hitting that forward button yet
again to send this junk mail to all !!!!!
Some Carzy questions
Why did Mary own a little lamb?
Why can’t a baby cry while it’s inside its mother?
Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
Why is snow white and ice clear? Aren't they just different forms of water?
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Can you cry under water?
Why do you DELETE something on the computer, but ERASE something on paper?
Can a metal plate in your head get rusted?
What do vegetarians feed their dogs?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
If CD’s were spun in the opposite direction, would it say everything backwards?
Can you blow a balloon up under water?
Why are there black lines on a basketball?
Does it really count in court when an atheist is sworn in under oath using a Bible?
If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny"; what’s the difference?
If our planet is inhabited with creatures made by God...is it possible that there's another planet inhabited with creatures made by the Devil?
What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called?
Do fish ever get thirsty?
If I think, and therefore I am, am I just a thought?
What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?
How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour at the same time?
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
Is atheism is a non-prophet organization?
If anything's possible, then is it possible that nothing's possible?
Do fish sleep?
Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster then the speed of light?
Why do old men have hair in their ears?
Can a guy named Nick have a 'nick'name?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Does a postman deliver his own mail?
Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?
Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?
Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it?
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down?
Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.
If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?
If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
What's the opposite of opposite?
Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?
Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
What would you use to dilute water?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train stops, why do I have a work station on my desk?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Why did Mary own a little lamb?
Why can’t a baby cry while it’s inside its mother?
Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
Why is snow white and ice clear? Aren't they just different forms of water?
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Can you cry under water?
Why do you DELETE something on the computer, but ERASE something on paper?
Can a metal plate in your head get rusted?
What do vegetarians feed their dogs?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
If CD’s were spun in the opposite direction, would it say everything backwards?
Can you blow a balloon up under water?
Why are there black lines on a basketball?
Does it really count in court when an atheist is sworn in under oath using a Bible?
If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny"; what’s the difference?
If our planet is inhabited with creatures made by God...is it possible that there's another planet inhabited with creatures made by the Devil?
What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called?
Do fish ever get thirsty?
If I think, and therefore I am, am I just a thought?
What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?
How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour at the same time?
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
Is atheism is a non-prophet organization?
If anything's possible, then is it possible that nothing's possible?
Do fish sleep?
Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster then the speed of light?
Why do old men have hair in their ears?
Can a guy named Nick have a 'nick'name?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Does a postman deliver his own mail?
Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?
Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?
Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it?
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down?
Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.
If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?
If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
What's the opposite of opposite?
Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?
Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
What would you use to dilute water?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train stops, why do I have a work station on my desk?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Thursday, October 14, 2004
The Letter to Dad and the Dad's Reply:
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on.
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on.
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
Why me and you failed in Civil Service Exams
QUESTION & ANSWERS
Real life IAS i.e. UPSC Exam 1998 Interview Question
and their Answer given by Candidates, oh sorry, IAS
Officer now.
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor
without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC
Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how
long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank
Opted for IFS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an
elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 9
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it
will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS
Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )
QUESTION & ANSWERS
Real life IAS i.e. UPSC Exam 1998 Interview Question
and their Answer given by Candidates, oh sorry, IAS
Officer now.
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor
without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC
Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how
long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank
Opted for IFS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an
elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 9
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it
will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS
Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )
Two cows were lying in a field. One of them says to the other, "So, what do you think about this mad cow disease?" The other says, "What do I care. I'm a helicopter."
Animal Behaviour
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me — they must be Gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me — I must be a God!
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me — they must be Gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me — I must be a God!
